Before we get into the nitty-gritty of how to meet women I’d like to highlight the MOST important moments and explain them:

The Reality Of Meeting Women

Fantasies and Reality…

We can talk for hours about what it is you want and what you’re afraid of. But nothing clears your mind up quicker than a good bite of the reality: there’s you and your fears, and then there’s reality.

And guess what?

The reality doesn’t care what you’re thinking. The reality simply gives you facts, and you fantasize:

• “What would happen if I approached this beautiful woman… and she liked me… ”

But at the same the same reality provides you with information for negative thoughts like-

• “She’ll for sure reject me. I’m out of her league…” – and that stops you cold from going up and talking to a woman you like.

So there you have it. So now all thinking about “what could be” and “what would happen” needs to go so that you can be left one on one with results, things you can do right now (maybe start conversations with women) and things you can’t yet do (Get these women to go on dates with you, for  example). If not being able to get what you WANT to have makes you feel frustrated – then you have motivation to accomplish what needs to be done in order to succeed. And I will help you in that.

Let’s keep on.

Anxiety And Approaching Women

Approaching with courage

I hear a lot of people saying that you have to totally eliminate your anxiety to become more confident with women. Hate to spoil the fun, but that’s not how it works, folks.

• And here’s the trick: don’t hold back or in any way try to eliminate your anxiety.

MOST guys try to achieve TOTAL confidence when it comes to meeting women. From personal experience I can say that I always worked towards getting this TOTAL confidence down when approaching women (where no fear or anxiety exists) and  there were times when I totally had it one day, and then another day it would just disappear. Vanish. So the feeling of total confidence wasn’t ever constant. It was off and on.

And You know what that made me realize??

• This feeling of anxiety is like fuel.

Without anxiety meeting women turns into a boring, routine, everyday thing. If you’re not getting any emotions out of meeting and talking to women, then you just lose all motivation to go out and talk to women at all.

Why would you even want women around you if they don’t make you feel anything??

Here’s also something that no one else will tell you, something that only women know:

Women actually sort of like it when men that approach them are somewhat anxious. Especially women that are over 25 years old. They will actually help you out too and make it so that you worry less. (Sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. Try it out and you’ll see.)

When you’re nervous and anxious, jokingly say this to a woman :

• “You just made me so nervous it’s hard to even talk right now.” And smile.

Contrary to popular belief, confidence is not important. What’s more important is courage! Want to know how to develop this courage to approach women? Well, here’s the “How-To”:

Approach a woman, say something to her, talk for a little bit, then leave. You’ll be thinking:

“Wow. Holy shit. Did I really just do that? Did I really go up to that girl and started talking to her? Is this really me?”

At first you will be amazed and blown away. But two or three days later it will become a part of you and you’ll be thinking:

“Hell yeah I did it. Why wouldn’t I go up and talk to that girl over there?”

Now get this: you don’t need to go out and approach women day-in and day-out just to practice. Just do it a few times. Have courage to approach women, and actually go out and approach them. Your opinion about yourself WILL change from “I’m a man who can’t approach women” to “I’m a man who now CAN.” That’s what’s important here.

Confidence with women comes after you’ve mustered the courage to approach and talk to them. Before that you can read all you want, but you still need to take the first step.

Sometimes you won’t feel sure about your abilities, even though you approached women before. During those times you will need to approach women by stepping over your doubt. During these “unsure” times you learn the most.

How Do I Get Motivated Enough To Start Approaching Women?

Can’t Muster Enough Courage?

If you need extra motivation, do this:

By yourself, head over to downtown. (It’s best if its summertime, otherwise this won’t be as effective.) Walk around and just look at all of the beautiful women there. (Their sexy faces, asses, etc.)   You can walk around and look, but you can’t approach them or start conversations. Some of these women will look at you and invite you to come talk to them, but don’t do it. Don’t give in just yet.

Keep walking around and looking at these beautiful women, until you start feeling like a total fucking loser for not approaching them (speaking from personal experience here).

Some guys will need to do this for a day, two, three or more. Some guys only need 20 minutes.  The pressure will be so intense that you will be literally FORCED to go and talk to some of these women. The force to approach women will come from the inside of you. Your fear will disappear and you will just start approaching. I’m not kidding, this is very powerful. The point here is that you go and do this ALONE and not with your buddies.

Will I Need A Wingman Or Not?

Wingmen at work

If you’re a beginner it’s best if you go out and meet women by yourself.

Why?

Because if there’s more than one person, you form a party. A party of two or more people is closed and self-sufficient in itself. So when there are two or more people present you have someone to talk to, someone to exchange emotions with and someone to unite with in case you’re anxious or afraid.

When you’re alone, like a free radical, you’re actively seeking to connect with someone and form a balanced structure (party). So if you start walking around with a friend trying to meet women, everything will just turn into a hang-out with your friend. If you’re going by yourself – this is the REAL deal. And this is where you’ll learn.

So approach the women that aren’t in a hurry and that are by themselves. These women are “free radicals” as well, and they would like to have someone to talk to and share their emotions with as well, if they’re by themselves. You can even play it out like it was meant for you two to meet and start build a strong emotional connection with a woman on the spot.

What To Do If I Just Don’t Feel Like Approaching Women?

Here’s  Some Motivation For Ya…

Step 1– You already know this one. Just walk around beautiful women and “gather” motivation. (For advanced users – walk around, wink and smile at women).

Step 2 – Find THE most beautiful and seemingly unapproachable women that most men around are even afraid to look at. Go ahead and approach her. Tell her the most sincere compliment you can come up with. Start saying it as soon as they can hear you – even from a distance. Here you need to make it sound like you’re a very enthused asshole who just saw a thing of beauty and is awestruck by it. You need to say it loud and confident. Like this:

“Damn. This is the most beautiful girl I’ve seen today.”

The women you approach for this need to be extremely beautiful. You’ll automatically think of a compliment right on the spot. You can even say something like “Woah…” or “Damn…” to get start things off… but then you actually gotta say something to her!

Step 3 – After doing that you’ll be pumped and excited so keep doing the same thing.

It’s a paradox, but it’s best to start from the most beautiful women and just go down from there to the level of women you feel you can deal with. So start with the most beauituful, hot, sexy ones and say whatever you want to them, even if it feels awkward to you.  It’s important that you remember how good you feel after approaching women like this.

You know, I once used to anchor this feeling to an object. I anchored it to my sunglasses. It seemed to me that one particular pair of sunglasses was lucky (because I picked up and hooked up with the most beautiful women wearing them). So when I went out to specifically meet women, I’d wear the lucky sunglasses. And each time I put them on, the feeling of excitement and confidence came over me. So each time a symbolical item like this would break, it’d turn into a little tragedy for me. But then I’d get another pair of “magic sunglasses” and everything would repeat again.

Method Of Approach (How To Actually Approach Women)

Working the group.

There are many. We can split them into two categories:

1^St Group –  “Warm-up” Approaches

You can add to the techniques described above by using another “warm-up” technique that’s been used for centuries.

And that technique is playfully “not letting the woman pass”. I’ll describe it in much more detail in another article. But the gist of it is to “accidentally” bump into a woman that you like and start the conversation. This has been described by Ovid, in his “The Art Of Love”:

Join the crowd, and softly approach her,

Let fingers brush her thigh, and foot touch foot.

Now’s the time to speak to her!

2^nd Group – Real Approaches

These approaches can be separated in the following categories:

1. Static approach (standing still) and dynamic (when on the move);

2. With a reason (an event that connects both of you or a forced connection situation) and without any reason (no reason to talk to each other);

3. When you have something to catch onto (She looked at you, said something to someone, something interesting in the way she looks or she’s holding some item which you can talk about, anything goes here) – and when you don’t have anything to catch onto (In other words you can’t think of shit to say.)

4. Face-to-face approach, or approach from behind.

5. Approach-action and approach-conversation.

6. Approaching one woman or many at the same time.

Obviously, it’s the easiest to approach if you’re standing still, have a reason, have something to catch onto to start the conversation, face-to-face and approaching one woman with a conversation.  This is the line of the least resistance from both sides. All the social norms are intact – approaching the woman is inevitable in this situation. And it would also go along very smoothly, like a regular socially-acceptable meeting of two people. BUT you can also engineer an approach-friendly situation like this.

It’s best to approach women following the line of least resistance, from the simplest situations up to the situations where you’ll have to come up with reasons to go up and start the conversation.

But when you don’t have a reason to approach, pick up lines work best. The more simple they are the more real they sound.

• “Listen, you’re so cute I had to come here and talk to you.  I won’t ever be able to forgive myself if we never meet again. What’s your number?”

So if you REALLY like the girl it would literally take 2 minutes to get her number, with simplicity and sincerity.

It’s also important for you to know that the line of least and most resistance is different for everybody. And your objective is to become a universal. In other words, your objective is to learn how to meet women from of all these situations with equal effectiveness. Then the question “Where to meet women” becomes obsolete because you’ll be able to meet women anywhere.
P.S. One more sub-category of approach.

7. With chances (When a woman is somewhat reachable) and without any chances (When she’s looking at you from a window of a car passing by, etc.)

Without chances: In this situation I try to act just like the women when they are put in a similar situation ( Women become unusually friendly and approachable in safe situations). I smile, show them the tongue, wink or wave. Women react very well to this, returning the favor and sometimes going above and beyond and doing something outrageous.

I waved and winked – they flashed me their boobs and laughed. Go figure.

Ready To Use Pick Up Lines

“Hey, what’s your name?”

There was a time when I approached women very often, many times a day. During that time I got really lazy and tired of coming up with creative lines and what worked pretty well was this line:

-“Hey, what’s your name? I’m George.”

• This needs to be said not like a question, but more like a statement. Saying it like a statement conveys determination and decisiveness (strong manly traits).

• When you say it like a statement and not a question she understands that you’re not trying to sell her magazine subscriptions and you’re not some creepy-ass stalker. She sees that you’re just a regular guy who wants to meet her.

For beginners, I think that’s a good line precisely because you don’t have your body language down just yet. When you don’t have your non-verbal shit together and approach a girl you’re sending a lot of mixed signals because you’re nervous and anxious. So she doesn’t know what it is that you want from her. Your nervous body language might be telling her that you want to take her around the corner and kill her, or she’s got her guard up because you’re making yourself look like you want to steal her purse….. you get the general idea. In the very beginning you almost always give out the wrong vibe.

So that phrase explains many things to the girl you’re approaching and she’s not on the defensive anymore, because she knows you like her and just want to talk. (And when she drops her guard you can go for her purse. Just kidding. : – )

As soon as you start getting your body language together, you can start approaching women in any ways you want. They can instantly see that you’re a man in demand and know exactly why you’re approaching (You’re going to give her that which she deserves – your attention and sex).

She can also see how you behave around her (Smiling, confidently making eye contact, not afraid to slip in a little pause before starting to talk. All this shows her that you know your own strong sides, don’t like waste your words and time).

So for the beginner this is a very good line.

• -“Hey, what’s your name? I’m *******.”

You can also add “You’re just so cute I had to come here and talk to you”

OR

“Listen, you’re so cute. What’s your name?

Positive And Negative Expectations

Expect the best

To be successful at approaching and attracting women it’s very important to expect positive things to happen. Expect positive things to come from yourself, from the world, from the woman and from the situation.

This is a pretty big topic, as people in general tend to think negatively.

For example:

Your chance to win $10,000 if only 1 person is randomly picked out from a crowd of 100 people seems pretty slim.   However, this same 1 out of 100 chance seems very large and risky when 1 person gets randomly pulled out of a line of 100 people and taken to death.

Successful people who had positive experience before get to their goals much faster because they don’t get in their own way. They KNOW how to put their negative fantasies aside and think about the result in positive ways.

However, many supporters of negative thinking say that you won’t be prepared for the failure if you only think positively.

Now, when approaching and meeting women you need to believe in yourself enough to know that when something goes wrong – you will deal with it easily. And have the courage to act as if you could get no negative reaction at all.

Men who prepare for negative outcomes can’t use full potential, because they’re holding something back just in case of a failure. Because of this false sense of security they miss the chance to succeed… and ultimately fail. Counter intuitive, isn’t it?

This aspiration to “not look dumb if you take action and it fails” REALLY gets in the way of success. Very often instead of approaching the woman head-on and risking rejection, the guy stays put (in his car, on the bar seat) and only yells something remotely rude to her like “Hey, nice tits!” or something along those lines.

The goal of this behavior is NOT to meet the woman, get her number and then hook up with her, but just to make sure HE doesn’t look like a loser in front of his friends and other people. If a woman after his lame ass comment shows him the finger, he can tell his friends “I was just fucking around with her. She’s not that hot anyway!”

And guess what? That guy never gets the girl. And never will if he keeps keeps doing what he’s doing.

So always be confident in your charms. When approaching a woman you always have to come from a place where it’s a given that she’ll like you! And you also need to trust yourself enough to know that if you DO get rejected, you’ll deal with it easily.

Giving Out Positive Energy

Shining like the sun

Your objective is to share positive energy with people. Compliments, smiles, etc. You are not interested in the practical results. You’re only interested in growing your personal power and the belief that you can freely talk to many people. By doing this you’re also growing the belief in yourself that you’re the bigger man, who gives out compliments, smiles and reassures women in their beauty.

If a woman doesn’t react to your positive approach in any way – don’t get upset. Just keep on going. Instead of giving your energy to someone who can’t accept it, give it to a woman or a girl who will gladly take it and give some in return.

You will see that the women you talk to will literally melt when you talk to them. You will also feel when you need to stop and talk to the women you just smiled at. And you’ll also feel when you need to just keep going.

If all of the sudden your confidence drops (I know, on some days you feel down) – remember that you possess this incredible positive energy that women love. So if you start doubting yourself, go out and give out more positive energy to beautiful women: – )

Concept Of A Friendly Universe

Hello

When you’re able to give this energy to everybody and accept the “gifts from the universe’ (more beautiful women, their attention and smiles, all for you) – then you can move onto more advanced things. For example, creating your own “Zones of Influence” where everything happens as YOU wish.

So in the very beginning try to establish the connection with the friendly forces of the universe and carefully look what kind of present you’re getting this time. Try to take the gift, and if you don’t like it – you’ll have time to reject it.

Small children are living in so-called Paradise, the world gives them so many amazing gifts – for example, just a candy wrapper that they find laying on the ground – is an amazing gift! So they try to put it in their mouth… just like all kids do… : ) because they’re trying to figure out what the world has given them this time! And if what they find doesn’t taste good – they’ll spit it right out.  So be like that kid, take in the positive and don’t let anything negative get in the way of your success with women.

Article by Alex Odessa.